Sky - Psychology

It was six o'clock in the evening and the train platform was crowded.

I'd been to the convenience store in the station, having bought two sandwiches and a packet of juice for myself, and a small box of chocolate covered almonds for my daughter, who was waiting for me at home.

As I threaded my way through the crowd there was some jostling. Everyone looking for a small plot of real estate where they could stand quietly and wait for the train.

As I walked down the platform I noticed a commotion going on. A man who appeared to be homeless was pushing people as they walked past him, telling them to mind their manners. I stopped to watch as a couple of young guys made fun of the man, and then I heard someone call the police on their cell phone, saying there was a violent man on the platform. I immediately felt bad for this guy, and I knew a confrontational meeting with the police and some time in jail was not what he really needed.

I walked directly towards the man, while not looking straight at him, and I could see him preparing to shove me aside. Just before reaching him, I made believe I tripped and I dropped my plastic bag, Talking to myself in English about being so clumsy, I bent over to pick up my bag, and when I stood up I was face to face with the gentleman, about one foot away.

Continuing on in my best English, I made a comment about the weather, while opening my bag to show the guy the goodies inside. Next, I motioned to a railing that was nearby, suggesting with my hands that we go stand over there.

Well not only did the homeless man get my message, but so did everyone else, as they made room for us to pass.

When we got to the railing, I pulled out a sandwich, opened the wrapping, and handed the man half, while immediately beginning to eat my own half. The man stuffed the sandwich into his mouth and swallowed it down in record time.

I opened the second sandwich, gave him half, and held onto the other half. Once again he stuffed the food into his mouth, and quickly swallowed. I then gave him the remaining half, and noticed he ate somewhat more slowly this time.

The police came along just as I was handing the man the packet of grape juice with a plastic straw sticking out. I could see they were a bit confused because there wasn't anyone acting in a violent manner. I looked over at them and said in Japanese, "Everything is fine. The man is a friend of mine. He was hungry, and therefore a bit grumpy. Now that I've fed him everything in OK. The police appeared a bit perplexed, and I smiled at them, bowed and thanked them for having come. Not sure what they should do, they nodded their heads in return, looked around, and then slowly walked off.

My train was just arriving and I motioned to the man that I needed to go. He bowed deeply, stuck out his hand and said "Thank you." in English.

I handed him the box of almonds and the empty plastic bag and quickly boarded the train. As the doors closed I turned to look back and there was my new friend, bobbing up and down, bowing and smiling broadly.

I smiled back at him, but there was no room for bowing in the crowded train.

As we pulled away from the platform, I wondered what my daughter would say when I told her she had already shared all her candy with someone she had never met.

Tags: Seishindo, story

Posted in Psychology

Posted by skyleecm at 03:21 AM no comments

Books read in 2009

How to read Foucault by Johanna Oksala

Training the Samurai Mind by Thomas Cleary

The DaVinci Method by Garret LoPorto

Touching the edge a mother's spiritual path from loss to life by Margaret Wurtele

Living in Process - Basic Truths for Living the Path of the Soul by Anne Wilson Schaef

Learning and teaching therapy by Jay Haley

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

Quiet your mind by John Selby

Seven Masters, One Path Meditation Secrets from the World's Greatest Teachers by John Selby

A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life by Jack Kornfield

The Tibetan Book of Living&Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche

Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh

Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen by Shunryu Suzuki, Edward Espe Brown (Editor)

The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche with Eric Swanson

尊者的棒喝 : 禅说 by 蔡志忠

三国演义十七卷勇士的战场 by 孙家裕

天龙八部 by 金庸

Related:
Books Read in 2007.
Books Read in 2008.

Tags: spiritual, self-awareness, Amazon, book, meditation, zen, psychotherapy, comic

Posted in Personal , Buddhism , Psychology

Posted by skyleecm at 05:08 AM no comments

Books Read in 2008

Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Psychology in Singapore Issues of an Emerging Discipline edited by Tan Ai-Girl, Michael Goh.

The force of character : and the lasting life by James Hillman.

Colourful Myanmar by Khin Myo Chit. (NLB Singapore)

Kimchi and IT: Tradition and Transformation in Korea by Kim Choong-soon. (Seoul Selection) (partial)

Buddhism Religion in Korea by Choi Joon-sik. (Seoul Selection)

Going to Pieces without Falling Apart by Mark Epstein.

Contentment: A Way to True Happiness by Robert A. Johnson, Jerry M. Ruhl.

Living Your Unlived Life: Coping with Unrealized Dreams and Fulfilling Your Purpose in the...Second Half of Life by Robert A. Johnson, Jerry M. Ruhl.

Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth by Robert A. Johnson. (partial)

Wherever You Go There You Are Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Taming the tiger within : meditations on transforming Difficult Emotions by Thich Nhat Hanh.

The Miracle of mindfulness : A manual of meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Related: Meditation on Interdependence.

The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Luminous Mind The Way of the Buddha by Kyabje Kalu Rinpoche.

The Silk Road Journey With Xuanzang by Sally Wriggins.

Holy Places of the Buddha (Crystal Mirror 9) by Elizabeth Cook. (partial)

Tags: Myanmar, dream, spiritual, self-awareness, Korean, Amazon, book, meditation, pilgrimage, Buddha

Posted in Korean , Personal , Buddhism , Psychology

Posted by skyleecm at 16:18 PM 2 comments

Old Age is a Gift

I read it from Inspirationline.

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.
I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my
reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that
it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I've decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life,
the person I have always wanted to be.

Oh, not my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the
sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person
that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't
agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends,
my wonderful life, my loving family for
less gray hair or a flatter belly.

As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself,
and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making
my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need,
but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a
treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave
this world too soon; before they understood the
great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the
computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's,
and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body,
and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.
And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,
or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet
gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us
strength and understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and
will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have
my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs
be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have
died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.

I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned
the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question,
I like being old — it has set me free.

I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here,
I will not waste time lamenting what could have been,
or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat icecream every single day
(if I feel like it).

Tags: aging, mindset

Posted in Psychology

Posted by skyleecm at 15:56 PM 1 comments

Japanese Children Cellphone Obsession

From Google news.

Young Japanese people are evolving a new lifestyle for the 21st century based on the cellphones that few are now able to live without.

They are using their phones to read books, listen to music, chat with friends and surf the Internet -- an average of 124 minutes a day for high school girls and 92 minutes for boys.

While the wired world they now inhabit holds enormous advantages for learning and communicating, it also brings a downside, say experts who point to a rise in cyberbullying and a growing inability among teenagers to deal with other people face to face.

"Kids say what's most important to them, next to their own lives, is their cellphone," said Masashi Yasukawa, head of the private National Web Counselling Council.

"They are moving their thumbs while eating or watching television," he said.

The passion in 20-year-old Ayumi Chiba's voice backs up this assertion.

"My life is impossible without it," she says of her cellphone. "I used to pretend I was sick and leave school early when I forgot to take it with me."

As the multi-faceted cellphone takes centre stage in teen life, it plays a number of roles -- including a weapon that children can wield against each other with no thought for the consequences.

Yasukawa recalls the case of a 15-year-old girl who regularly received messages telling her: "Die," "You're a nuisance" and "You smell".

They turned out to have been sent by a friend in whom she had confided and who told her not to take the messages too seriously.

"The girl who was doing the bullying confessed it made her feel good to see the unease spreading on her friend's face," Yasukawa said.

Most middle school cellphone users rarely used their phone to talk, the survey found. Saito, of Kawamura Gakuen Women's University near Tokyo, said children seemed to want the security of communicating with someone, without the bother of dealing with a real person.

"Communication ability is bound to decline as cellphones and other devices are now getting between people," he said.

Saito's survey found that students can also use their cellphones as an emotional crutch, and the more problems they have at home, the more dependent they seem to become on their phones.

More than 60 percent of students who said they do not enjoy being with their families send 20 or more emails a day, compared with 35 percent of those happy with their families.